4 Ways Girlfriends Help Us Win at Life

Yvonne Andall, 66, Georgia

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Sisterhood Helps Me Stay Healthy as I Age

My "tribe" as I love to call them is a group of 13 sisters I met through GirlTrek.org. We are retirees ranging from 52-80 years young. We all walk together for our health. We call ourselves the Retirementville Trekkers.

These ladies and I encourage each other to do and be better. We have insightful conversations as we walk. Absolutely no drama. We converse about issues pertaining to Black women and our society in general.

We walk together. We call ourselves the Retirementville Trekkers.

We have traveled to cross the longest U.S. extension bridge — the Gatlinburg SkyBridge in Tennessee. We also climbed Stone Mountain and Arabia Mountain and hiked several new trails. We have continued to safely socially distance and walk for our health during the pandemic.

Second Prize: $300

Lisa Price, 56, Florida

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Sisterhood Helped Me Lose 90 Pounds

What a blessing it is to have besties, gurlfriends, sistahs, homegirls ... I’ve had the same crew since grade school. We even had an official organization called the Mercedes Ladies. We had the illest parties and the DJ would shout out our nickname. I giggle now just thinking about it. We grew up in a small town on Long Island, New York, and we did everything together.

As I got older, the pounds seemed to jump on me. I woke up and I was two pounds shy of 300. I knew I had to make a change and quickly. During a girl’s trip, I’d noticed that I stayed behind a lot while the others enjoyed sailing and other water sports. I asked them, ‘Why didn’t you tell me I had gotten so big?’ They replied, “Girl you are beautiful.” And, “We love you, and your size doesn’t matter.”

I was two pounds shy of 300. I knew I had to make a change — and quickly.

At first I didn’t share my plan for my weight journey but after a while I did ... and I’m glad. No pressure, just support. No annoying questions like, “How many pounds are you down?” Or, “Are you sticking to it?” Nope, not my sisters. With their support, I’m learning a new way of eating. Water aerobics has been a big part of my success, because I stand at 4 feet, 11 inches and the weight was overbearing on my joints. I cried many days but I stuck with it. It’s been a five-year journey. I still struggle but refuse to go backwards. I lost over 90 pounds, and while I’m not at my goal weight, I feel better.

 As friends, we have cried, held one another, rocked and even screamed from the pain we’ve all been through. Leaning on one another makes the hard times easier. I’ve had two divorces, a heart attack and recently my son passed. I truly didn’t think I had the strength to go on, and I didn’t want to. This pandemic has kept us apart physically, but they called, prayed and sent texts. Praise God. As I felt their strength pouring into me, I gained hope.

I don’t have any biological sisters, but these ladies have shown me what true sisterhood really is. I’m a truly blessed woman of God. Love is the invisible thread that ties us together. 

Third Prize: $200

Radhiyah Ayobami, 43, New York

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Sisterhood Helped Me Rewrite My Life Story

I met Zoe while she was facilitating a women's circle. For a writing exercise, she gave us little slips of paper and placed a candle in the middle of our table. When each woman finished writing, Zoe burned her slip of paper in a candle flame. I wasn't happy about burning my work, so when it was my turn I said, "Why are we burning our words?" She said, "Because it's the past. Women carry so much. Go create something new, and let that go too, if you want!" She wiggled her eyebrows behind her cat’s-eye glasses and I had to laugh. I burned five slips of paper that day, and I left feeling light.

While others criticized me, Zoe said, ‘You have a right to find your happiness.’

At that time, I was a single mother raising a son, an Africana studies major and a writer exploring cultural communities. This meant that I was always worried about, reading about or discussing some sort of trauma about being Black in America. My friendship with Zoe taught me that healing can be light. She initiated me into Reiki, a practice of hands-on healing that helped to calm me and whoever else would be open to my energy. Over the years, I moved often. While others criticized me, Zoe said, "You have a right to find your happiness." She once moved from one city to another to write a play that became successful, so she understood my search for a place where I could write, raise my son and be at peace.

Once I was complaining about life being hard and she said, "So make up another one." I said, "I can't make up life just like that." And she replied, "Well who made up the one you have now?" The eyebrows wiggled again, and I laughed. Much like the paper we burned so long ago, I knew it was time to leave some things behind and create a new story. And I'm thankful to Zoe for being on the journey with me.